I left my place to catch a flight to Toronto at four in the morning, which is to say it did not really feel like a departure so much as a continuation of the night before — that particular fog of being awake for a reason you chose, willingly, because the thing on the other end of it mattered enough to justify losing the sleep (and a few extra cups of coffee in between). Toronto, when I landed, offered no reward for the effort. The sky was the color of a chalkboard that had be